Communication

Canadian family law expects separated parents to communicate respectfully and cooperate on matters affecting their children. The 2021 Divorce Act amendments explicitly include a parent's willingness to support the child's relationship with the other parent as a factor in the best interests analysis. A parent who refuses to communicate, withholds information about the child, or uses communication as a weapon is not acting in the child's best interests. Courts notice this — and it can affect parenting arrangements.

For most co-parents, written communication is best — it creates a record, reduces the heat of in-person or phone conversations, and gives both parties time to think before responding. Email is widely used. Parenting communication apps like OurFamilyWizard, TalkingParents, and 2Houses are designed specifically for co-parents — they log all messages, cannot be edited or deleted, and can be printed for court. Text messages are convenient but can be easily misread and are harder to organize. Whatever method you use, keep it businesslike and child-focused.

Communicate about the child's needs: school events, medical appointments, schedule changes, significant developments in the child's life. Do not communicate about your personal grievances, the other parent's new relationship, financial disputes, or anything that is not directly relevant to the child. Do not use the child as a messenger — never ask the child to relay information, requests, or complaints to the other parent. Do not communicate through the child's school, doctor, or other third parties unless there is a genuine safety reason. Keep it professional, keep it about the child.

If communication with the other parent is difficult because of high conflict, harassment, or a history of family violence, you do not have to communicate in ways that put you at risk. Written communication through a parenting app creates a record and reduces direct contact. In high-conflict situations, a parenting coordinator (a neutral professional who helps manage co-parenting disputes) can facilitate communication. If there is a safety concern, your parenting order may include provisions for parallel parenting — where each parent operates independently during their parenting time with minimal direct communication.

Children have the right to communicate with both parents during the other parent's parenting time. This means phone calls, video calls, and messages. Courts expect parents to facilitate reasonable communication between the child and the other parent — not to monitor it, limit it without good reason, or use it as a bargaining chip. A parent who consistently interferes with the child's communication with the other parent is not acting in the child's best interests. Build communication provisions into your parenting plan — specify frequency, method, and timing.

If the other parent is not communicating appropriately — ignoring messages about the child, sending harassing communications, or involving the child in adult disputes — document it carefully. Save all messages. Keep a log of incidents with dates, times, and descriptions. If you are using a parenting app, the record is automatically preserved. Good documentation is essential if you need to bring a motion about communication issues. Courts take communication problems seriously when they are well-documented and clearly affect the child.